SERBIA AND MONTENEGRO

I would like to say my trip to the eastern European countries of Serbia and Montenegro even thought they have seperated into different nations however a trip i will truly never forget. I would also like to thank the Velenderic family for letting me in there world it was truly an expereince. Let me also state that through my vist to these nations has really proved my theory that eastern European women are either drop dead gorgeous or ugly as men i mean 100% by that meaning. Anyway getting to the story of my trip as i finally arrived in Belgrade airport after staying 5 hours in the airport. I reached the passport control something i will never forget i saw this really good looking cop lady checking passport so why not at her stop and i give her my passport she stares at it with disgust turns each page in my passport with such rage as if i cussed of her mom as i gazed at her behavior i led her to the page where my visa was then she stares at me and says to "Why are you here?" like some raging hulk i respond in such shock " I am here on vacation my friend Nikola Velenderic invited me" Stares at me playing the bad cop (doing a good job mind you) once she stomped my passport with the valid stamps cautiously i took my passport and asked her is this how you usually flirt with men she stares at me with death eyes and i run like a man running away from a nagging wife. Once i got out of that mess i finally saw my friend Nick waiting for me at the airport we greet each other as we get in the cab Nick told me that he has a surprise for me. As curious as i was of this surprise i asked him what he was and him so kindly telling me to stop being nosy and he will take me around i felt ohh great less than 24 hours already i am kiddnapped by Serb for ransom. We finally reached Belgrade city the center where Nicks mom will mostly stay but at the moment we just put my bags there and rested. Adding to my new expereince i expereinced Serbian pizza when i mean these people like to eat big they eat big i mean they put the NewYorker Pizza size to shame do not get me started on the taste oh my god. Once we were all rested Nick, Me and his Uncle had to drop of a Maid to town called Vrania. We reached the bus statoin to drop of the maid we were set free. Headed back to the apartment Nick then just randomly says "Wahab I would like you to wear your rocker cloths as if you were going to a rock concert". As i stared at him saying what the hell is going on i did as he said and i will be damned if i did not like the surprise. He took me to see the one and only HIM in concert i mean the audience just everything was great what a way to kick off a trip huh... Sadly i could not take pictures Nick told me not to bring my mobile to the place where were going God Forbid what happened last time at the Desert Rock. Anyway after that marvelous night we went to the other apartment where we will be mostly staying in my stay in belgrade much bigger but far away from the center. That morning i had the begining of what was going to be my everyday meal in the morning all these random bread pasteries which honeslty are so tasty. However this encounter i shall never forget umnick has invited me to meet her best friend Nadia and her Children. So as i entered being literally the only person that cannot speak a lick of Serbian in came a woman that would change my life in Belgrade. This lady was also a guest in the house apparetnly a very colorful one that made me laugh till i could drop also educating me at the sametime about Serbian politics. We have become so involved in the conversation that for some reason the name Wahab could not go into her brain so out the blues she goes up to me " I cannot pronounce your name or remember it so i will call you from now on VASO". I was shocked like okay thank you for such an honor the name according to her is a saint in the orthadox chruch belief (exactly of all the people in the world me a saint) however, in german its close to the word meaing water go figure. After that we all decided to go to a lovely fish resturant everyone from our group was there sitting enjoying each others company. Then my godmother called on me asked me if am going to the WHITE SNAKES CONCERT i am like yes i am inshallah. She replied with "My daughter she is 17, she always goes to these concerts i will see if she is going". After hearing this i was like oh god what have got myself into if thats her mother imagine her child so thank God for small favors apparenlty she is not going. Also this fellow one of Jelica and Shaskas friend debated with my godmother/revolutionist about politics a very futile debate. Closing the night my godmother/revolutioist calls on me "Vaso i like you i would like you to marry my daughter". I was in awe like oh my god what have i got myself into so i responded with "As much as i know your daughter is a lovely girl but i cannot disappoint my mothe or my grandfather (from dads side) because they have plans for me to be acquainted with someone else =p". After much debate we have reached the conclusion that her daughter has a chance putting me in condition of i don't even know how the girl looks like she has a chance. Calling it a night all us went back to our homes to get some shut eye. I have had also the pleasure of meeting Nicks grandmother who is a wonderful hostes also a great cook for breakfast god bless her. Lets not forget his truly inspiring Grandfather mashallah a man that went through 6 heart surgeorys and attacks yet still lives to tell the tale. We also took it upon ourselves for Nick and I to take Djordje to see Superman the movie of the summer as blockbusters proclaim then again i was never a superman fan persay. Even saw the movie the Da Vinchi Code honestly it was really well done i mean Tom Hanks was in it so it must of been good however, i must say i was disappointed that as usual Hollywood cut out some esstential things in the book. Nick also invited me to dine at this resturant where they serve Serbian food and man those people eat just one course meal i felt like i was in ramadan those people really know how to make you full. A suggestion serbian food not diet food not one bit. There purportions were just simply outstanding they make the macdonalds supersize to shame. Whenever Nick and I just did not feel like going out in the morning or afternoon like not getting all dressed up just to hang out at the center because its to hot and if your lucky you can find a place with AC. However if we wanted a nice walk or somewhere else to sit we would go to this mall going there and sitting there i felt like i was in Hawali or those malls in old salmia. So what nick and i would do is just either sit at our regular cafe have our regulars talk some more. But what really shocked me was this cd place i bought 4 cds and each 1 had 16 albums in 1 cd for a price of literally 750 fils for a cd. Imagine the choices as well it was like music store cd heaven. As i always try to polite to the people i meet that i completely loath Umnick had this man Waleed who has her friends x-husband and let me tell you what a man. Lets start with i just met him the amount of perfume he put on my God you can smell it from a mile the rats from the swears ran away to another location to get away from the smell. I will not recall the conversation we had together in arabic being i like somethings to be censored. However this gentlemen kept on braging about his escapades in Vrania (its a little town outside of Belgrade). Vrania is a little town with not that much rich people i mean if 2 guys wanted to go out the only thing they could order for luxury is a beer thats it. The girls honestly looked proper to hide away the poverty the guys sadly had no fashion sense what so ever they look 1970 Baghdad hippes (If there were any). Waleed being the einstein he is proved he is a real kuwaiti bought champaine for the whole people in that bar as well as beers. After that naturally golddigers were after him also sadly clouding his judgment thinking the woman were after his good looks (yeah right). Reapeting none stop about it also about the girls really wanting him omg what an ego. We all tried our best to show him a good time with much respect and restraint to get rid of him but he ruined my night of clubbing where he went after the night. But atleast all was not lost Nick took me there on the beach side where all the clubs and we followed on our motto Rock'n'roll All Night and Party Everyday. The next day really showed me time and time again that you can never beat the classics and rock'n'roll. I am talking about White Snakes another valiant effort by Nick they rocked the house White Snakes what a night. The next day was my first trip ever to what the Serbs consider the sea side which the nation of Montenegro. We were at Belgrade airport once we checked it now here is the funny thing once we reached passport customs guess who was there the same lady i insulted when i first arrived in Belgrade shit. Thank God Umnick was there to save my tail on that omg i thought i was going to get it. So once we landed in Montenegro reached to our supposed area where were going to sleep at lets just say someone cheated UmNicks friend Nado and we searched for another hotel. After much wait and bargins we finally got into a beautiful hotel also the lady receptionist that helped us out Maja a really great friend i got to know. For about 3 days Nick,UmNick, Djordje and I had to share the same room which was cool. Umnick filled in Maja about our life stories apparently Maja enjoyed the fact of in her own words i am such a colorful person also that my name is Vaso go figure. This was our rouitne even when Nado and her kids came 9-6 we were at the beach exploring the waters, climbing the rocks, watching out for rocks under our feet, enjoying the view, exploring the caves, but nothign can beat the resturant the waiters easily were friendly with us knowed us right away we were amigos right away. In night nick and I would explore our surroundings knowing the placeses here and there. One day before Nado and her kids arrived we went this old towns place in Budva. The locals turned that place to a tourist attraction area really well done. All the essentials historical sites, pubs, resturants with different themes but most importantly touristy crap to buy. I finally had the pleasure of seeing Tamara just that one time in Montenegro in Budhva we had fun. So basically the days were the same beach then go out and had fun. But what was wild was out of the blues these Brazilian dancers came to our beach and performed. There perfmormance were 2 thumbs up also when they walked around giving out chips they came up to me i took some told them thank you in there language (Portuguess) they were all shocked from there 1 of them progressed to a great relationship. Anyway on that same day they were still dancing also i jumped in gave them some arab spice ask for the videoclip if you are interested. Also with my favorite of the bunch we hannged out after that ;). Another interesting event was me getting my FAKE tatoo Nick and I were just walking along the beach and i saw the stand. There were 2 ladies 1 that did the talking the other did the art. After negotiations i choose what i wanted thats where all my troubles started the artist lady looked like she was in a bad mood also to my luck she couldn't speak a lick of english. She stared at my arms and told me your arms are hairy i am like i am sorry next time i will shave till she found a spot. Then we started screaming at each other not one us understood the other person. While the artist was a howling banshee on me Nick was flirting with the other one. Until Nick finally realized how much pain i was in got in and dealt with the lady might as well been a real one. Anyway so Nick flirted with her and also got us to go out with them not the artist another friend that can speak english to go out. Lets just say those 2 outings we played our cards right without forgetting the ace of spades or the joker. One night it was just Nick and I we were walking around the beach and we found this little bungalo bar/night club naturally we wanted in. We got in i mean what a night Nick and i haven't laughed also just hadn't had this much fun in a while. On our last night in Montenegro we were going to this really fancy resturant in the area where i thought it was qatar turned out its spelt kotor just pronounced the same go figure imagine what i thought. But what was interesting is that a 10 year old got drunk over red wine and man he was a mean drunk almost about to beat up his sister if it wasn't for me and nick. Also what was fun the unbelieveable laughing we did at the day especiallly when i asked some guy if he was an actor. Not mentioning names people that laughed so hard peed on the street and on the car. So yeah you can tell it was quite a night. Once we got back to Belegrade we didn't waste anytime the next day. Straight away we went to see my gold digger i mean what a accquaintance. She had the cheek and odasity for my watch not only that asked nick about my finanical situation but she got the message i was not interested. But we had some really nice burgers and root beer. We got a phone call that same time Vok said he has a nasty cut he is hurt. Were thinking shit this guy was jumped or something so we ran to his house turned out that this girlfriend gave him a tiny cut. I was ready to burst at him you idiot after he told me the reason why she did it too him. However, honestly i was really glad to meet him a really top notch guy. Sadly that was it the end of my trip to Seriba next day just got in the airport was on my way to kuwait. I would like to thank the Velendirck family for my opporunity.